Reflections in the Deepest Light
by H-Man89995
Summary: A small WAFFy piece. My first attempt at both WAFF and angst. FINISHED!
1. First Thoughts

**Reflections in the Deepest Light  
****By H-Man**

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Hi! My name's H-Man, and that's a short name for a great person such as me!

Anyway, I made this small fic to see if I could write a nice shipping. The chosen one was one I call Alchemistshipping out of affection… You'll understand why in the end.

It is also angsty, and, considering I'm not an angsty fan, you can say it's a development.

Please read, review, and criticize me on what's wrong! I won't be able to develop until you do!

P.S.: I wrote this at 8:20 PM. So I'm kinda tired. Oh well.

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"Are you okay?"

I shuddered as those words reached my ears, startled. In front of me, one of the nurse apprentices was staring at me, her face showing her concern. I simply nodded, still stunned from the shock I felt.

"Good. I was worried something serious had happened to you. It would be very bad for us all if it did."

I relaxed a bit more, paying more attention to her words. I had to show that I was interested, I suppose. It would do very badly for my own reputation if I did not. It would not do at all.

My own reputation… where did that come from?

'_You must pay full attention to what other people tell you. You must not let them notice that you are slipping in your tasks. It would not do at all if you did so. Your reputation would be damaged greatly from such events.'_

The school I studied in… could it be I was subconsciously accepting their line of thinking so bad? Am I losing my own self-control? Am I…

Was I becoming _them_?

"Ma'am? Is there something wrong?"

Her face betrayed her own voice; while she said it as she was taught, I could see the small wrinkles in her face and the small curls in her mouth that showed true concern. _'So she hasn't been totally subverted… but I wonder for how long.'_

I couldn't face her for much longer. Her face was so pure… so gentle… so… _tamed_.

Was it taking over my heart as it is taking hers?

I moved my gaze away from hers as I started to walk away. I had no real idea as to where I would go. I only knew I had to go away.

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Heh. A bumpy start, just so you know. It will be growing up soon, but the chapters will be slightly shorter. Oh well, it was _supposed_ to be a one-shot... you can get it, I suppose.

_H-Man_


	2. Confused

**Reflections in the Deepest Light**

**By H-Man**

Eh. No reviews. Oh well, chapter two is up, ready, and sound. Enjoy, and put up a review, at least. Even if it is to say that I suck.

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My thoughts were all muddled up, confused as I walked to the lighthouse. Ampharos was still a bit shaken up, but it had been fine for the last few days. It was the best place for me to stay, while I reflected on what was happening.

There was something wrong with me, something that I felt I had repressed for days… maybe months, even. How long could it have been since I had felt those feelings?

My heart was beating faster, for some reason. Also, I did not try and control my heartbeats, like I usually did. However, I unconsciously thought that I should.

Had the training taken such a hold on me, a hold I just couldn't break?

I walked the steps that led to the top floor. Without realizing, I was moving faster and faster, and it seemed that I was being pulled towards it. My heart was beating even faster, and I could notice my breathing becoming shorter and shorter.

However, as I reached the last steps, I stopped. My body felt heavy for some reason, and I couldn't figure it. I also realized that I felt sadder somehow; for something I expected… was not there.

I walked forward, timidly. As I proceeded, I could notice that there was nothing missing from the lighthouse. The lamp shone, even though it wasn't as visible now as it was during the night. Ampharos, the source of all energy in the lighthouse, was standing there, waiting for the night to come, so it could fully energize the lamp, giving it energy enough to guide the ships.

So why did I feel something missed? Why did I feel bad for the fact that there WASN'T something?

Why was I feeling so alone?

I sat down on the floor, with my back to the wall. I couldn't understand it. I was confused by those sudden emotions that I felt, those strange feelings that took over me. But unlike the training, they felt… _good_. I felt as if they were the key to my happiness, which I had sacrificed long ago in the name of the common good.

Was it why I felt so strange? Why I felt the training was hurting me more than helping me?

Was it why I had started to feel a heat inside my body whenever I thought of that?

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Okies, how did it go? Short, huh? Well, like I said before, it was _supposed_ to be a one-shot...

_H-Man_


	3. Some Memories

**Reflections in the Deepest Light**

**By H-Man**

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More of it, and I don't think I got reviews yet! 

Let's see if you can get it now...

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I was still sitting in the ground, waiting for the mess that was my heart to be fixed. But I knew it wouldn't be so until I had figured it out myself, rather than waiting. That wait was what caused the problems in my life.

I decided to focus on the past few months, trying to remember if anything out of the ordinary had happened. Surely it was a recent thing, but since it felt like it wasn't the first time I felt it, it had to be something from some time ago.

Well, not much had happened in the last few months… there had been that time Ampharos was sick, but other than that…

"_Hey, Jasmine! How was that battle you did?"_

Wait. What was that again? Something about a battle…

"_Jasmine! There's some kid that has been fighting his way into the lighthouse, even though he wasn't allowed! Can you please stop him?"_

A boy? Who had entered the lighthouse?

"_Your Ampharos is sick? But how can it be?"_

"_It overcharged with the power failure… I couldn't do anything to help then, and now it might be in serious danger."_

I had revealed him how it had happened, even though I had not told anyone else… Why? Why had I done that?

"_It needs a special medicine that's only developed in Cianwood Island… but there's no one we can spare to go there. And no trainer has returned yet…"_

"_A special medicine… say, I'll go there and get it for ya!"_

That was strange… why would someone do that for her? She couldn't impose herself onto him… not when everyone else hadn't returned…

"_That really isn't your concern… you don't have to go."_

"_Nah, I have decided. I'm bringing your medicine so you can make Ampharos go back to normal in no time! Don't try to make me back down!"_

What was that about? He had no reason to do that for me. He wouldn't gain anything from helping me then. Why had he decided to do it?

"_Why didn't you go help him before?"_

"_It was too much for me! How could I do anything?"_

"_You know what you are going to be, right? You should have gone there."_

"_I… I couldn't. I just can't go."_

I was feeling even worse than when I started. I had let someone go do what I couldn't at the moment, even though it was my duty. It was what I had to do. It was _the right thing to do_. It was a subconscious decision that I should have forgotten that had happened, because I couldn't face it. It was something that hurt, but… I didn't feel as bad as I thought I should. But why?

"_You helped me there… why did you do it? I have nothing you'd like…"_

"_Why shouldn't I?"_

My body froze. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Lugia, I couldn't _think!_

That boy… I only met him for a few moments and he had completely crashed my beliefs. It was too much for me, but I couldn't help but keep reviewing what happened. All those memories were too much, but I had to keep up, to face what was in front of me… to understand it.

Was I so conditioned I repressed all that without realizing it?

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Even more cool stuff up. How do you guys think it's going? Please review!

_H-Man_


	4. Confused Thoughts

**Reflections in the Deepest Light**

**By H-Man**

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No reviews for three chapters. Please say if I suck.

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I was nearing tears when I realized that I was holding that for months, and that it was suppressed for so long. I had recovered my breath, but I still felt weak. But it wasn't the weak people usually connect. It was another type of weak. It was the kind of weak where you feel your body turning into jelly and your legs can't support you and there are Ledians in your abdomen flying around and making a mess in there. It was so… strange. I wasn't prepared for that. Maybe I still am not.

I tried to focus on him, now. I had to know who was talking to me. Who helped me. Who… who did what I could not.

My mind raced as the images started to connect. Black raven hair, the color of a Murkrow. A gold-colored cap, twisted, facing the back of his head. A hooded jacket, with a color mix between gold, orange, and black, keeping most of his body hidden. A lighter shirt, still with the orange theme, but with tones of blue. Short, black pants, that reached his knees. Typical sneakers, but there was something remarkable about them I could not remember. Dark, chocolate-brown colored eyes.

That face was incredibly familiar…

Was he not the trainer who had defeated the Elite Four, a few weeks ago?

I walked towards the announcement board, and took a good look at the newspaper that was stuck there. Indeed, there was the perfect image of the boy. The subtitle said that he had defeated the last Champion, Lance, and that he had decided to head to the Kanto region next. There was, however, something that took my attention from the rest of the newspaper.

There was a girl in the picture.

A girl who seemed, by all instances, his girlfriend.

And, for some reason, that made my insides burn up with anger. Even though I never felt that sort of thing before.

But why? Why would I feel so strange about a boy? A _boy_, of all things, who was just someone I met once?

Why did my heart ache so much?

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Okay, you heard me. Do I suck so much? Oh well, I'm nearing the end...

_H-Man_


	5. Estranged

**Reflections in the Deepest Light**

**By H-Man

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**

I have just a few words to tell you guys. YOU ARE THERE! I CAN SEE YOU! 8 HITS! SHOW YOURSELVES!

Now that that's done with, enjoy.

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I took a few breathes, before sitting down on the floor. Ampharos had approached me, and he was looking at me with a curious look. But I could see the worry in his eyes.

"Ampharos… I know you're worried about me, but… I just have to think a bit more." He nodded. I think he knew what I was thinking. I put my arms over my knees and tried to reflect on that.

There weren't too many reasons for my feelings. That wasn't the worst part, I knew it. It was rather easy to acknowledge the reason why I felt so bad.

The worst part was the fact that the only reason I could acknowledge that pain was that I was in love with him.

And that was BEYOND any contact I had with him could bring.

I went to look at the picture again. Indeed, he _did_ wind up winning the Pokémon League, so that meant he had probably received my badge. This gave me some more hope, but then I realized that I wasn't the only female Gym Leader in Johto.

First, there was that, well, not-as-likeable Whitney. She probably gave him a few runs for his money, since her Miltank served the name well. Her Rollout attack was quite violent, actually.

After her, there was also Clair. The Dragon Trainer actually made me mad, but it wasn't because of her Pokémon. No, it was because of her own attitude. Clair is, in my own opinion, the perfect opposite of myself. While I am shy, calm, and reflexive, she's outgoing, brash, and active. She also acts like she is a queen, sometimes; whenever we met, she was always flaunting her beauty, and showing off.

Well, maybe I'm just being defensive. It might be because I'm jealous of her… but then again, I do not know what I feel anymore. This is so confusing…

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Another chapter done. I am approaching the endline, and it sucks. Seeya!

_H-Man_


	6. Final Thoughts

**Reflections in the Deepest Light**

**By H-Man**

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LO! THE FINAL CHAPTER IS RE-DAY!

Yeah, I know that's not the official call, but HA! TAKE THAT! YOU THOUGHT I DIED, RIGHT? WELL I DIDN'T! GET TO READING!

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I was crying, holding my legs with my arms, in fetal position. I could not stop. I just… had to let go.

I was trying to understand all that was happening. First, I found out that there was a boy that had been plaguing my thoughts for a while. Then, I find out that I feel something more about him, even though I don't remember a thing from then. And finally, I discovered that I was in love with him, but I had suppressed all memories of it, for fear that it could hurt me!

Was my heart that deranged, that I could not even solve its puzzle?

I felt my body cool down. The tears were stopping. I got up and went outside, into the viewer. The breeze was soothing.

I did not know whether or not what I felt was calmed, but I realized something. My heart wasn't aching so much now. I tried to focus on the thoughts again. While they still hurt, it wasn't the same pain from before. It was a different pain.

It was the pain of a lost chance.

I noticed that it was the fact that I accepted that I had lost him that calmed me down. Maybe, just maybe, I had tried to forget about it, to make it seem like I did not care about it, but that was likely the reason why it hurt so much.

The sun was approaching the horizon line. It was a beautiful sight, something that kept me watching, that kept me interested. I enjoy seeing the sunset. It is one of the most beautiful moments of the day, when the sun and the sky are starting to lose their colors and the light around me and the world is a mix between blue, orange, and black.

As I stared, I thought I noticed a small blur flying forward. At first, I did not pay too much attention, but then I noticed it was coming closer and closer… and the closer it came, the easier it was to recognize him.

Yes, for it was _him_ who approached.

The one who I loved then.

I noticed that he was riding a Skarmory. While that probably had no connection with me, I could not help myself.

I started to run downstairs, as fast as I could. I barely felt anything that was around me.

I might have another chance… and there is no way I am going to waste it.

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Yeah, it was good while it lasted. With all the interruptions and stuff, it weighs down to 2 hours and 57 minutes.

Thanks would go to NO ONE!BECAUSE NO ONE REVIEWED!

Heh.

_H-Man_


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